Monday, October 4, 2010

Tricky, Slicky, Fugitive Limericky

What's all this talk about Malaysia's most celebrated fugitive wanting to come back home? Well, too many unsubstantiated rumors and loose talks abound out there, contents of this page included. 
 He wants to switch sides they say. They have stopped paying him his allowances and he now wants to go over .. to the LIGHT side, they say. HE is enjoying himself too much with some newly-found lasses, they say, and Marina Lee is not happy about it, they say. He swaggers and staggers drunk one night back from a Vauxhall pub and landed in some kind of gutter longkang and spent some soberization night there, they say. He was once admitted for some mental illness in England, they say.

Piffles, I say. Piffles!

The good fugitive and ex-jailbird is coming back purely for one and one reason only: he misses budu and cencalok and you can't find find original budu and cencalok in London. The Korean cencalok-budu in Kensington are too grimy, the ones found in Peterborough sold by the Thais are made from pig entrails (not that he minds, I think) and the ones sold in Bayswater have packaging written in Kelantan jawi and all but really are made by Jason Chow and family in Soho, by hand. So stand down, all you conspiracy theorists. Its not the gomen who is enticing RPK to return home. Its some age-old, salted, fermented and pickled tadpole-anchovy delicacies.

The following poem was published in May 24, 2010 in Rocky Bru
[http:// (RPK Dares Malaysia …)] originally entitled:-

The Multinational, Phenomenal, Urinal fugitive blues:- 
There was a girl from Nantucket
Who reads Malaysia Today and seemed to like it
Took her some time to realize
That what she read were pure lies
So she stopped, shrugged, and just said, “fuck it”
But another girl from downtown Sicily
Sympathizes with Azman, son of Marina Lee
For when in jail, to satisfy his palate,
He hungrily, greedily swallowed a gillette
A wayward son from a dysfunctional Family

Another big bad broad from Western Burundi
Understands RPK’s Modus Operandi:
Never to promote, always to disrupt
Entered as a Celeb, left as a bankrupt
And RPK’s loudest during any season of mengundi

And you might have heard about the lass from Holland
Who got so much intrigued by RPK’s talent
Writing Statutory Declarations
Without any substantiations
But when grilled by the police, why---he cabut to England

Then there’s this girl from Southern Kerala
Asks how does he survive? And ooh la la:
Kalimullah and company,
And I am told, that KJ fella sekali
All pitching in for RPK’s survival laaa…

And a girl from Thailand (Siam, in the old days)
Admires Marina, a consort of RPK’s
“Melayu Babi”, she was reported to have said,
And Din Merican just nodded his head
A brief peek into the world of self-hating malays
But whether it be Serbs, Czechs or Croats
You can never catch good old Leman Pulut
No matter how well or how sick
To be ending all his limericks
In a rhythmical, whimsical poetic rhyme

Leman Pulut

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