Sunday, June 12, 2011

Rise of the New Politically-Induced Super Breeds

What is this I hear about some politician trying to get some mileage by trying to register the race of her chid as “Malaysian” instead of a valid ethnic identification? Malaysia is a nation, not a race. This couple is a Chinese-Indian couple, and some people have already termed the union offspring as “Chindian”. Now THAT got me into thinking: what would the children of parents from different races, especially in multi-colored, multi-racial Malaysia, be called? And as usual, when Leman puts on his thinking cap, Leman comes out with a myriad of ways, all firstly thought of here (and therefore copyrighted!) of ingenious ways to call cross-pollinated children by their proper union names. So here it is. Read, so that you may be thus inspired.

Should a Bangla  were to marry a Melanau
Their child would of course be a Bangau
And if a Chinese were to wed a Murut
Their offspring would be a cute little Churut

Now if a Punjabi were to woo a Semai
I’m afraid you’d have to call the offspring “Punai”
And one must never marry a Bangla and a Minang
For fear of producing bratful little Bangangs!

It’s ok for a Kadazan to wed a Batak
It’s ok too to have pretty little Kataks
But Batak if were to be wed with a Punjabi
Whose fault is it if they have a child whose race is Babi?

From the union of a Boyan and a Kelabit,
Out comes the pitter-patter of small feet
And pops into mind the predicament of this Bobit
Accurate in namesake but not in feat!

Now Benggali and Iban are a good pair to unite
They might not produce Benggalibans, or they just might
Now that’s just like Talibans of the Afghan fame
Not as dark though, but vociferous all the same

Pair up a Chinese together with a Kelabit
You’ll get little small-eyed Chibits
But when I hear that I tend to put up a frown
Somehow there’s something not right in that sound

Penan and Murut will produce a Perut
Kelabit and Murut wil yield Kerut
But Penan and Melanau will beget Panau
Punjabi and Melanau will give you Punau

Never do any cross-pollination
Between people of three different nations
Melanau, Rohingya and Boyan
Will produce children who will always  Meroyan

Leman Pulut