Rise of the New Politically-Induced Super Breeds

What is this I hear about some politician trying to get some mileage by trying to register the race of her chid as “Malaysian” instead of a valid ethnic identification? Malaysia is a nation, not a race. This couple is a Chinese-Indian couple, and some people have already termed the union offspring as “Chindian”. Now THAT got me into thinking: what would the children of parents from different races, especially in multi-colored, multi-racial Malaysia, be called? And as usual, when Leman puts on his thinking cap, Leman comes out with a myriad of ways, all firstly thought of here (and therefore copyrighted!) of ingenious ways to call cross-pollinated children by their proper union names. So here it is. Read, so that you may be thus inspired.

Should a Bangla  were to marry a Melanau

Their child would of course be a Bangau

And if a Chinese were to wed a Murut

Their offspring would be a cute little Churut

Now if a Punjabi were to woo a Semai

I’m afraid you’d have to call the offspring “Punai”

And one must never marry a Bangla and a Minang

For fear of producing bratful little Bangangs!

It’s ok for a Kadazan to wed a Batak

It’s ok too to have pretty little Kataks

But Batak if were to be wed with a Punjabi

Whose fault is it if they have a child whose race is Babi?

From the union of a Boyan and a Kelabit,

Out comes the pitter-patter of small feet

And pops into mind the predicament of this Bobit

Accurate in namesake but not in feat!

Now Benggali and Iban are a good pair to unite

They might not produce Benggalibans, or they just might

Now that’s just like Talibans of the Afghan fame

Not as dark though, but vociferous all the same

Pair up a Chinese together with a Kelabit

You’ll get little small-eyed Chibits

But when I hear that I tend to put up a frown

Somehow there’s something not right in that sound

Penan and Murut will produce a Perut

Kelabit and Murut wil yield Kerut

But Penan and Melanau will beget Panau

Punjabi and Melanau will give you Punau

Never do any cross-pollination

Between people of three different nations

Melanau, Rohingya and Boyan

Will produce children who will always  Meroyan

Leman Pulut