Sunday, June 12, 2011

Rise of the New Politically-Induced Super Breeds


What is this I hear about some politician trying to get some mileage by trying to register the race of her chid as “Malaysian” instead of a valid ethnic identification? Malaysia is a nation, not a race. This couple is a Chinese-Indian couple, and some people have already termed the union offspring as “Chindian”. Now THAT got me into thinking: what would the children of parents from different races, especially in multi-colored, multi-racial Malaysia, be called? And as usual, when Leman puts on his thinking cap, Leman comes out with a myriad of ways, all firstly thought of here (and therefore copyrighted!) of ingenious ways to call cross-pollinated children by their proper union names. So here it is. Read, so that you may be thus inspired.



Should a Bangla  were to marry a Melanau
Their child would of course be a Bangau
And if a Chinese were to wed a Murut
Their offspring would be a cute little Churut

Now if a Punjabi were to woo a Semai
I’m afraid you’d have to call the offspring “Punai”
And one must never marry a Bangla and a Minang
For fear of producing bratful little Bangangs!

It’s ok for a Kadazan to wed a Batak
It’s ok too to have pretty little Kataks
But Batak if were to be wed with a Punjabi
Whose fault is it if they have a child whose race is Babi?

From the union of a Boyan and a Kelabit,
Out comes the pitter-patter of small feet
And pops into mind the predicament of this Bobit
Accurate in namesake but not in feat!

Now Benggali and Iban are a good pair to unite
They might not produce Benggalibans, or they just might
Now that’s just like Talibans of the Afghan fame
Not as dark though, but vociferous all the same

Pair up a Chinese together with a Kelabit
You’ll get little small-eyed Chibits
But when I hear that I tend to put up a frown
Somehow there’s something not right in that sound

Penan and Murut will produce a Perut
Kelabit and Murut wil yield Kerut
But Penan and Melanau will beget Panau
Punjabi and Melanau will give you Punau

Never do any cross-pollination
Between people of three different nations
Melanau, Rohingya and Boyan
Will produce children who will always  Meroyan

Leman Pulut

9 comments:

  1. I do not know whether it is politically correct to laugh...but I can't stop the smile spreading on my face!

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  2. I agree with you, Ninot. It's that do-or-die decision one has to make sometimes.

    Like, if you were in a funeral and everyone is sad and crying and suddenly the guy next to you lets out a kentut that seemingly whistles to the tune of "God Bless America". Should you laugh, or continue crying?

    Or if you are a man berlengging wearing sarong and nothing else and you lambung-lambung your 2-month old baby into the air and just as he was up there betwixt sky and ground, your kain suddenly terlondeh and you are actually like ... in front of the entire Nenek Besah clan, them watching you. Should you save the baby or should you save your dignity?

    Decisions! Decisions!

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  3. LOL! Good one Bro!

    KP

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  4. Hehe. Leman, I would save my kain. Baby boleh bikin another one.

    Melacin (Melayu-Cina)

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  5. Hello there Leman.

    I can't take it anymore. Laughed till tears came out. :)

    Real funny this one.

    PS.....still in love with you.

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  6. By the way Leman, what is your opinion on the Obedient Wives' Club? Any "assignment" for you to be their guinea pig? They gonna conduct classes you know ....

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  7. Anon 6:47. You must save your baby. Your kain/dignity/manhood whatever, its not that its soooo unique that Nenek Besah will go gaga wanting to see it. And being a nenek some more, I am sure she agrees that when you see them once, you've seen them all. Heck who knows, her Dato's piece is perhaps much more beautiful than yours. Jangan marah naa. :-)

    Zaza, had thought of writing some poems about the Obedient Wives' club too. But then I thought:-

    I am sure that people who can logically COMPUTE thoughts and ideas won't just go be silent or MUTE listening to them. But anyway, to their bravery I really offer my unflinching SALUTE, even though by now they have fallen into some kind of DISREPUTE. But I cannot DISPUTE or even REFUTE the fact that these wives are FIRST CLASS ASTUTES as far as their thinking goes.

    But just that I couldn't find the correct word to rhyme with all these adjectives, that could describe them, so I gave up the idea. Any one wanna try?

    :-) :-)

    Leman

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  8. A Chinese and an Indian makes a Chindian
    And now a Chinese and a Banggali Bhai...
    Would it make a proud Chibhai?

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  9. Penambang JetskiJuly 11, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    Owh Good Grace "Proud ChiBhai"..you're taking those joke seriously?..lol

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