Thursday, July 14, 2011

Spy vs Spy, Poet vs Poet, Jobbo vs Jabberwock

 
In the wake of the Bersih rally, all sorts of medium were used to display both supporting and detracting viewpoints. As is the theme of Leman’s blogsite, let us concentrate on that which Leman loves the most: Poetry! I am sure there are lots or poems written about the event, but I have failed to see them, except two most glaring ones, coming from two heavyweights in Malaysian politics: one YB Shafi’e Abu Bakar, Pas’ ADUN for Bangi, and the other from Malaysia’s own writer laureate, Pak Samad Said. I will comment on both poems below.

 YB Shafi’e’s poem is rather amateurish, as you can read if you click on that link. It has some amusement value but not along the way that we understand amusement to be. Therefore Leman is called to give a “rebuttal” poem below. Well wait. That’s not true. Actually, Leman’s poem is a supplement to YB’s poem: I am sure that the YB not only praises Ambiga, but the other Bersih leaders as well. So you can safely say that Leman’s poem below is actually an extension of YB’s poem to include odes meant for the other leaders as well:-


Ambiga! Ambiga! Ambiga!
Kaulah serikandi hindu sejati
Dari terkasta India kau lari kemari
Wang Clinton Soros bijak kau dapati
Kami yang da’if sila biayai
Jatuhkan UMNO matlamat kami
Tak kira mereka seugama sebangsa kami
Selagi tak sampai ke Matlamat sejati:
Selagi kerusi empuk tak kami duduki
Selagi Putrajaya menidakkan kami
Selagi itulah Ambiga, kau kami sanjungi

GuanEng! GuanEng! GuanENg!
Kaulah khalifah diakhir zaman
Kuhambakan diriku , kaulah Tuan
Dalam khutbahku namamu dimuliakan,
Kesejahteraanmu kami pohonkan
Kg Buah Pala engkau 'maju'kan
Penduduk Balik Pulau engkau ‘bersih’kan
Khalifah Abdul Aziz kau jadikan pedoman
Tapi “Guinness Stout” harap kau kurangkan
Tak cukup Penang, Seberang kami serahkan
Kalau  mahu satu Malaya pun akan kami usahakan

Anwar! Anwar! Anwar!
Namamu harum di mata dunia
Ingin diracun tapi dirimu perkasa
Walau ditembak gas pemedih biasa
Kau rebah bagai dihimpap dunia
Kau liwat, kau siwat, namun kau waja
China Doll, panadol, kau godam semua
Kau tepu, kau tipu, tapi masih kau bersahaja
Disebut Norlaila kau belah:
kaulah wira
Diberi Mior kau terlior:
kaulah permata
Disebut Ummi Seperti Tsunami:
gigil kau semesta
Dengan Datuk T akal kau mati begitu sahaja
Dengan Zul Noordin, Ezam,Nalla tiada rahsia
Orang macam kaulah junjungan kami semua
PAS sentiasa dibelakangmu, wahai wira perkasa!

Haris Ibrahim! Haris Ibrahim! Haris Ibrahim!
Kau lah Wira pejuang bangsa
Kaulah penidak tauhid yang esa
Kaulah pembebas cengkaman ugama
Kaulah pendorong kemurtadan utama
Tanpa kau Azlina hidup terseksa
Berterusan dalam keadaan terpaksa
berTuhankan Allah tidak  di redha
Sujud dan rukuk jangan dipaksa
Bismillah QulhuAllah dibenci semua

Ng, Ngeh! Ngor! Ng, Ngeh! Ngor! Ng, Ngeh! Ngor!
Kegigihan mu menakjubkan kami
Hadis dan Quran engkau hafali
Tersembur dari mulut mu ayat-ayat suci
Walau bibir mu masih basah berbabi
Kaulah wira Dewan Undangan Negeri
Islam Umno kau gagahi, kau calari
Ambillah ini tanah, ambillah ini negeri
Layak lagi kau dari si Umno harbi
Atas fatwa mu kami sanjungi
Tentang kesyahidan Baharud---err Suhardi!

Mat Sabu! Mat Sapu! Mat Labu!
Muka montel mu ku rasa nak cubit
Ku geram hidung mu rasa nak gigit
Peminat mu ramai bukannya sedikit
Tak terkira bagai bintang di langit
Kau bijak melepas dari tersepit
Bilik 121 namamu terpalit
Normah penghantar minyak sembelit
Walau tubuhmu besar bukan sedikit
Namun intelek mu sebesar intelek pipit 

 
Now Laureate Samad Said is a bit more interesting. I would like to tell a personal story. Many, many years ago, I had a brush with Pak Samad, at the time when he hadn’t been awarded the Ahli Sasterawan Negara yet. I wrote something in the papers that criticized him. It was published and they were talking about it several days afterwards. Pak Samad blew his top and gave a rebuttal few days later and it was in the front page of Utusan Malaysia or Berita Harian I can’t remember which. He said something like “how dare that writer mention (such and such and such. Honestly, I can’t remember the topic). Who is he? A nobody. I myself have written many, many books and who is he to question me?”

Anyway the funny thing is this. Several days later, I accidentally met him in an escalator --- if I am not mistaken, in PJ. He of course did not know me --- a totally insignificant and unglamorous little guy. So I caught him up and said, “Pak Samad, I read about the issue you wrote in the papers and that anonymous writer who dared to write such a thing against you. He is a loony, isn’t he, Pak Samad?”To which he replied, “No, no, no. It is okay. He is entitled to his own opinion. Now what did you say your name was?”(Diverting the issue).

Hehehe that was funny to me that time, When I departed from him I was sniggering quietly: he had just spoken to the guy who put him to task before!

Anyway, no. I am not in the same league as Pak Samad. He is a class of his own: a copacetic visionary, a hopeless romantic, an adroit writer, a dexterous poet. He is also, lately, an extremely confused alzheimeric dissident who hates the very government that recognizes his contributions. And for that, I wouldn’t want readers to be disadvantaged with what he had to say so I am reposting his poetry in full glory here:

 
Unggun Bersih

Semakin lara kita didera bara—
kita laungkan juga pesan merdeka:
Demokrasi sebenderang mentari
sehasrat hajat semurni harga diri.

Lama resah kita—demokrasi luka;
lama duka kita—demokrasi lara.
Demokrasi yang angkuh, kita cemuhi;
suara bebas yang utuh, kita idami!

Dua abad lalu Sam Adams berseru:
(di Boston dijirus teh ke laut biru):
Tak diperlu gempita sorak yang gebu,
diperlu hanya unggun api yang syahdu.

Kini menyalalah unggun sakti itu;
kini merebaklah nyala unggun itu.

24—25, 6.11. A. SAMAD SAID


Now Leman’s rebuttal poem? Mmmm.... a giant needs a giant to sit on the same level. So instead of creating a poem of my own for him, why not I pull in another giant with a corresponding poem which I think MOST APPROPRIATELY ANSWERS Pak Samad’s poetry. Here it goes: The Jabberwock by Lewis Carroll. It was a poem I first read when I was 9 years old. I didn't know the meaning of  the poem until now, when all this Bersih thingy happened. You guys might find a tough time comprehending what the verses are all about but trust me: National Laureate Pak Samad knows full well the meaning of this poem!


Jabberwocky
Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
 

 Leman Pulut

Monday, July 11, 2011

Humor Intermission (Epsilon): Not Neccessarily The News (of Bersih)

People have got it all wrong.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Often a times, some photojournalists publish some pictures in either electronics or printed media, and they NEVER EVER get things right by way of captions. Sometimes I see the captions do not match the photos AT ALL. Where DO these photojournalists get their diplomas from? It's wrong captions like these
that give newspapermen bad names.

As just an example, during the recent Bersih rally with photographs splashed all over the internet, do they get the captions right? Nooooooooooooooooooo.

Leman would like to school some of these photojournalists. In this page, Leman displays his immense skill of dotting the i's, crossing the t's and putting the correct captions onto some photographs that would otherwise be immensely wonderful. Read, and be schooled. And as an exercise, go to the last photo and tell Leman how would you all captionize that photo.

Let it be some kind of competition. The winner with the best captions will get a Rolls Royce (just in case the look-alike contest fail to find a winner).

Second Photo:-

Third Photo:
Fourth:

Fifth:-
Sixth:-

Seventh, and this is where you come in. How would captionize these, Lemanese, Lemanettes?: