Monday, August 16, 2010

Were I ...

(First published in RockyBru (Wee quits PKR), 10:09 am, May 14, 2010)

Were I Saiful I will, without doubt,
Face the courts all erect and stout
First thing I’d establish is
The length and girth of Anwar’s penis
And Karpal can confirm that --- in camera or out

Were I Saiful, slender and pale
I’d furnish the courts with juicy details
Of Anwar’s size and circumference
So I don’t give any wrong inference
And I ain’t talking bout his torso, all you Gani Patails!

Were I Saiful---not that I’d like to be
I’d rather be content with---what was it----making coffee?
But all this consternation
`bout an illegal sodomization
Has taken quite a toll on me personally

Were I Saiful, I’d ask Karpal Singh
Would he take my place on that night of reckoning
Can you modestly, honestly say
What role that you would then play:
Being sodomized, pray tell, or doing the sodomizing?

Were I Saiful upon being stunned
About that wajib bath I didn’t take the following morn
I see your point, but don’t it all seem
I am no more a bad muslim
Than you are, Karpal, a very good one!

But worse is the thought that makes me shudder
Were I PKR and supporting the brader
Will there be any satisfaction
In the dire comprehension
That this country should be led by a sodomizer ?

And were I an ultra racist DAP
It matters not sodo-you or sodomee
In this case what’s important most
Is that from coast-to-coast
This country be ruled by a rep of Lee Kuan Yee

And were I PAS, I’d be in full bliss
Whoever I pangkah, I run the least risk
For then what is there to worry
There’s a double, triple guarantee
Of a place in heaven, courtesy of Nik Ajis

But luckily I am neither: And God, I thank thee
And nor am I PAS or PKR or Dee-Ay-Pee
And I ain’t Saiful either, plain as a boat
I’m just good old Leman Pulut
(And try hard as I might, searching high and low, I just can’t seem to end this limerick with any word that ends in “eee…”!)


  1. hmm.. finally there is a face to the Annoying Anon Leman Pulut... tee hee..

  2. Leman ... why you so like that? So no like Anwar? Annoyingly lovable.